120+ [Best] Funny Status & Quotes for Whatsapp & FB 2019

Best Funny Status & Quotes for Whatsapp & FB 2019: Are you in a mood for laughing by Funny Jokes or Funny Status? Then you are in the right place. Because here we are going to list the Funniest Quotes & Statuses that will surely make you laugh and also your friends and loved ones. We have picked best and fresh funny and comedy status from the thousands of the statues and listed here for you.

These comedy quotes are not just quotes or status but are beautiful and funny lines that can bring a smile on someone’s face within no time. You can share these funny Whatsapp statuses with your friends and family. You can also send them to your loved ones to make them laugh and can also update on your Whatsapp or Facebook Status. So don’t waste time and pick up the best from the best list below.

funny status for whatsapp

Funny Status & Quotes for Whatsapp

  • I’m not lazy, I’m on energy saving mode.
  • It’s amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world each day fit exactly the length of the newspaper.
  • I would lose weight, but I hate losing.
  • If you mean Elmer Fudd singing “Kill the Wabbit” then yes, I do like opera.
  • I’M Great In Bed. I Can Sleep For Days.
  • My biggest concern in life is actually how my online friends can be informed of my death..!!
  • Save water – Drink beer!
  • Congratulations!! My tallest finger wants to give you a standing ovation.
  • I don’t go looking for trouble. Trouble usually finds me.
  • Maybe the mattress stores could tell us when they are NOT having a sale.
  • Never Give Up On Your Dreams. Keep Sleeping.
  • I Wonder What Happens When Doctor’s Wife Eats An Apple A Day…
  • Oh Please…. Don’t copy my status.
  • Keep moving! Nothing new to read…
  • Take my advice, I don’t use it anyway.
  • You never really know a woman, until she takes you to court.
  • Women May Not Hit Harder. But They Hit Lower.
  • People that Change Love status after 30 Sec… GF is the Reason…
  • Cousins are created so that our Parents can compare marks.

New Funny Status for Whatsapp

  • One more password got married…!
  • Love may be blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener.
  • I have nothing in common with people who have “leftover” pain killers.
  • Dear Karma, I Have A List Of People You Missed.
  • Mosquitos are like family. Annoying but they carry your blood.
  • When I’m on my death bed, I want my final words to be ‘I left one million dollars in the…’
  • I Am Not Special, I Am Just Limited Edition.
  • I really want to work so hard. But being lazy is so much fun.
  • If the best things in life are free, why am I still charged when I go to the liquor store?
  • Don’t Make Me Laugh. I’M Trying To Be Mad At You.
  • The only time success comes before work is in a dictionary.
  • Eat – Sleep – Regret – Repeat.
  • Life is like ice cream, enjoy it before it melts.
  • I’m not lazy, I prefer the term “selective participation”.
  • I’m so old that the only room I can go into and remember why is the bathroom.
  • Light travels faster than sound…that’s why people appear bright until they speak
  • I Am Brilliant Brunette With Lots Of Blond Moments.
  • Think about it ..every time we look back at ourselves a few years ago we think we were an idiot.

Don’t miss out the collection of best status & quotes

Funny Status & Quotes for Whatsapp

Latest Funny Whatsapp Status

  • Why is Monday so far from Friday and Friday so near to Monday????
  • I’m not running away from hard work, I’m too lazy to run.
  • If I could go back in time I would put cheese on a lot more things.
  • As Usual, There Is A Great Woman Behind Every Idiot.
  • Guys are like stars, there are millions of them, but the only one makes your dreams come true.
  • Sleep till you are hungry… Eat till you are sleepy.
  • Never give up on your dreams keep sleeping.
  • Facebook – The only place in the world you can be social while being antisocial.
  • When Life Gives You Lemons, Squirt Someone In The Eye.
  • Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift. That’s why it’s called the present.
  • Teamwork is important; it helps to put the blame on someone else.
  • I really need a day between Saturday and Sunday.
  • Why do recipes say to “preheat the oven?” Shouldn’t it just be “heat oven?”
  • I’ Not Hungry. But I Am Bored. Therefore, I Shall Eat.
  • I have 1% battery left. Whoever calls me or sends me a message will become my enemy.

Status for Whatsapp Funny

  • One day, I’m gonna make the onions cry.
  • “3 words more beautiful for a married woman than I LOVE YOU: No Cooking Today”
  • I wish people who say ‘thanks, but no thanks’ would make up their mind on where they stand on gratitude.
  • Marriage Is A Workshop Where Husband Works & Wife Shops.
  • Silence may be golden, but duct tape is shiny and silver.
  • Fact: Phone on silent mode – 10 Missed call… Turns volume too loud- Nobody calls all day!!
  • Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.
  • Remember Every single frozen corpse on Mt. Everest was once a highly motivated person. Stay lazy, my friends.
  • Zombies Are Looking For Brain. Don’T Sorry. You Are Safe.
  • You’re just jealous because of the voices like talking to me more.
  • Life is too short. Don’t waste it reading my WhatsApp status….
  • You can either be right, or you can be the husband.
  • Remember me in your Prayers as you do in your Gossips.
  • My Mom Said ” Follow Your Dreams “, So I Went Back To Bed.
  • I’m not arguing, I’m simply tried to explaining why I’m Right.
  • You can never buy Love… But still, you have to pay for it…
  • Yes, of course, I am athletic… I surf the Internet every day.
  • What am I getting you for Christmas? A sense of humor. I am getting you a sense of humor.

Also, check the  Cute Whatsapp status & quotes.

Funny Whatsapp Quotes & Status

Short Funny Whatsapp Status

  • The Four Words A Girl Most Want To Hear. I Bought You Food.
  • Music in the soul can be heard by the universe.
  • Worrying works! 90% of the things I worry about never happen.
  • The richer you get, the more expensive happiness becomes.
  • Talking to myself because I am my own consultant.
  • Mom: Some scary old lady keeps FaceTiming me. Me: Mom, turn your camera around and she’ll go away.
  • If Women Could Read Minds, Every Second Man Will Get Slapped.
  • To meet you was fate. To become your friend was a choice. Falling in love with you was out of my control.
  • I only need 3 things in life: Food, Wifi, Sleep 😉
  • I talk to myself because I like dealing with a better class of people.
  • Something I never said as a kid: My book stopped working.
  • An Apple A Day Keeps Anyone Away If You Throw It Hard Enough.
  • My bed is always extra comfortable when I need to get out of it in the morning.
  • I swear my pillow could be a hairstylist. I always wake up with the weirdest hairdos.
  • To the person who stole my antidepressants…I hope you’re happy now!!!
  • You Don’t Have To Be Crazy To Hang Out With Me. I’ll Train You.

Funny Facebook Status & Quotes

  • All my life I thought air is free until I bought a bag of chips.
  • The hardest thing I ever tried was being normal.
  • Bought some unsalted almonds by accident today. Turns out, I like salt, not almonds.
  • I Won’T Be Impressed With Technology Until I Can Download Food.
  • Mosquitoes are like family. Annoying but they carry your blood.
  • Life is too short. Don’t waste it reading my Whatsapp status.
  • Apologies to all you millennials — the Disney Channel never prepared you for all this.
  • I Will Slap You So Hard That Even Google Won’T Able To Find You.
  • My wallet is like an onion, opening it makes me cry.
  • Doesn’t expecting the unexpected make the unexpected expected?
  • If you are reading this then I’m sure you have nothing to do in your life.
  • Some of the best decisions I’ve ever made involved me clicking cancel instead of send.
  • Remember If We Get Caught, You Are Deaf And I Don’T Speak English.
  • Everybody wishes they could go to heaven but no one wants to die.
  • My “last seen at” was just to check your “last seen at”.
  • It sucks being a grown up. Nobody tells you-you did a good job when you eat all of your food.
  • All My Life I Thought Air Was Free….Until I Bought A Bag Of Chips.
  • I wish my book of life was written in pencil … There are a few pages I would like to erase.
  • Stop checking my status better you have your own.

Show your love to your lover with heart-touching love status and quotes.
Funny FB Status & Quotes 2019

Unique Funny Status & Quotes Whatsapp

  • Don’t accept any friend requests from Taco Bell… they’re nacho friends.
  • I’ll Be Back In 5 Minutes But If I’M Not Just Read This Message Again.
  • Relationship Status: Looking for a WiFi connection.
  • WAIT! Do you have an appointment to see my status?
  • The worse thing about flirting with disaster is when disaster turns away and says, “Ew.”
  • If Each Day Is A Gift, I Would Like To Know Where I Can Return Mondays.
  • Running away does not help you with your problems unless you are fat.
  • Don’t play stupid with me, I’m better at it!
  • My grocery list is just a piece of paper saying ~ don’t run into anyone you know.
  • My Goal This Weekend Is To Move Only Enough So People Know I’M Not Dead.
  • I always learn from the mistake of others who take my advice 😉
  • Life taught me a lot of lessons, but I bunked those classes too :p
  • Instead of going to Starbucks, I like to make my own coffee, yell my name out incorrectly, and then light a $5 bill on fire.
  • I Wish I Lived In A World Wher Mosquitoes Would Such Fat Instead Of Blood.
  • At least mosquito’s are attracted to me.
  • If Plan A fails, remember that you have 25 letters left.
  • The Word ” Studying ” Was Made Up Of Two Words Originally ” Students Dying “.
  • I am blood type O-positive, which I remember by staying ‘optimistic positive.’
  • During The Day, I Don’t Believe In Ghosts. Ar Night I’M Little More Open-Minded.
  • Come live in my heart, and pay no rent.
  • Dear Math, Please Grow Up & Solve Your Own Problems. I’M Tried Of Solving Them For You.

Final Words:

So these are the top best 120+ Funny Status & Quotes for Whatsapp & FB 2019. We hope you all will love our work on Funny Whatsapp Status. We hope you will appreciate us in the comment section by leaving a beautiful comment below about what you think of these Funny Statuses. It is recommended to you to share this post with your friends and family and also on your social profiles like Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Pinterest(A Whatsapp Status), and Whatsapp. If you have any new sad status please send it to us by email and we will 100% add it to our collection. Also, subscribe to our website awhatsappstatus to get the latest Whatsapp Status. Thanks 🙂